Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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