I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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