just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
