Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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