Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Someone came in the potted fern
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
