my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
vagina is talking i cant
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
