He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
