i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
ok first of all what the fuck
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
