I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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