no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
