Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize