i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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