Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
