Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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