just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
