Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
