yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
