I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
