I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
