if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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