so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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