we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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