FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
