worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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