I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
