Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize