I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
