I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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