after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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