I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
