I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
