he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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