I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
