How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
