My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
