Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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