I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We left an ass print on the piano.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
