I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize