So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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