someone get that fucking seahorse.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I understand Curling. That high.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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