I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
