Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Randomize
