no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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