Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize