yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
