playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dude. I can hear the air.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
