maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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