i think i have herpe
just one?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
