Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I need moral support for this bender
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
