There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
