he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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