Having a random hookup so left but love u
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
