you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
