Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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