Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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