When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
