she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
