I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
