Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
