i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
