"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
